Well, we have just returned home from the baccalaureate service for this year's graduating class. (see photo above - the handsome fella with the pointy shaved head is my baby, Cameron, and the rest of this crew are his high school posse from the past few years) And of course it was bittersweet. Lots of hugs and commiserating with all of the other parents with whom we have shared these past several school years. Our boys have played sports together, some for many years, and then we have become friends ourselves through socializing and seeing each other at various events throughout the years. I am going to miss seeing so many of these folks on a regular basis. And let's face it, some I won't miss as much! Which is exactly how the kids are feeling right now - they are going to miss the group of friends with whom they have become close, and then there are those peripheral relationships that they just won't miss as much as they move out into the world. But here's the thing - both types of relationships have shaped who they are, and who they will become. Our closest friends become the measuring stick that we use to determine how we fit in society. And the other folks we see on a daily basis help us to practice tolerance and patience and goodwill. Figuring out who you are, and how you fit, is the biggest challenge some of us face in our lives. And as my last child leaves home, I find myself trying to figure out where I fit now, and what my identity is. I have been a mom for 28 years, and for all of those 28 years someone has needed me. Even if they might deny it, they needed me! So as Cameron prepares to leave us next month it occurs to me that there is no one who needs me anymore - at least not on a regular basis. And that just stops me in my tracks. Who am I, if not someone's mom? Something to ponder for future posts, I suppose...
More to come later, I have to dash off to change clothes for our monthly coed bowling league tonight! Hopefully the Bowlweisers will be in the money at our wrap-up banquet next month!
Lana
4 comments:
I don't want to imagine the feelings you must be feeling, and I know that it will probably not help, but even though I am not your child. I need you, and your Matt needs you. Even though we have been married for a good little while. You are stil the first person he seeks out for advice, and the person he always directs me to when I am in need of some advice. I think your role has just grown. Isabelle and Ava love you more than you know, and even though we don't see each other all the time you are helping mold and shape them into who they will become. I have been a little teary eyed lately at the thought of not having Cameron around for all the get togethers, and am not quite sure who will become the girls human trampoline, or the loudest voice in the mason quartet. I sill don't know how you are holding it together, but I do know that your role will only get bigger as the years go by. I love you so much, and am praying that God wraps you all up over these next months. And on a lighter note if your empty nesting gets unbearable I could send Matt for a week or so. HA that would be fun
I feel your heart...I really do!
Awww...my faithful little group of readers/cheerleaders! You always know what to say to make me feel better! Lexie, I know that I am still needed as a Mimi to the girls and occasionally by you and Matt. And of course for Dana and Nick and Ansley and Ellie. I am just moping through some blues right now, but I will be fine. God never lets me feel sorry for myself for too long - He knows that there are other more important things around me that need my attention! Love you - Lana
Lana,
My heart is aching right along with yours! God has a plan for you and is just starting a new chapter. Just imagine what great things could be ahead! I know how important family is to you, but you touch so many peoples hearts and lives everyday that it will help your sad heart. Now on to a lighter note, we rocked last night at bowling. We won all but one game and the other team takes it very seriously. I am praying for you and will be here for you day or night! Love u, Kim
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